The Princess and the Cow
Once upon a time there was this cow. Now this cow was not a particularly happy cow, nor was he a particularly sad cow. He was just a cow. One day a princess wandered into his field. She was lost. She said, “Oh, woe is me! I am lost! Dearest, brave and noble cow, canest thou help me?”
Now the cow was just a cow and could not help the princess, nonetheless he was pleased by her offer. He lived happily ever after. The princess, on the other hand, got lost, died, and did not live happily ever after.
The End
The Princess and the Cow: II
Once upon a time there was this cow. He was a very happy cow, because once a princess had asked him for help. This cow, so emboldened by the princess’s plea, decided to go on an adventure. The cow looked right. The cow looked left. All he saw was the field he spent his entire life in. The cow said, “Moo!”
This roughly translates too: “This is no good! I will find no adventure in the field I grew up in!”
So the cow set off. He slowly plodded to the edge of his field; there he found a fence. Once more he looked right, and then he looked left. The fence continued as far as his eye could see to the right and to the left. In fact the fence completely surrounded the field. Much dismayed the cow could think of no way around the fence. Finally the cow went to bed to deal with the problem in the morning.
To be continued…
The Princess and the Cow: III
Once upon a time there was this cow. He was a very dismayed cow, because he was trying to go on an adventure, but he could not get over the fence that surrounded the field he grew up in. As the cow stared in a dismayed way at the fence, a miracle happened! A beautiful cow fairy appeared, and with a wave of her beautiful cow wand she made the fence disappear! She said, “Moo.”
This roughly translates too: “Noble and brave cow! Be the first of your kind to go on an adventure! Be proud and save the world.”
Now, truth be told, this cow had never gone to school, and understood only so many translations for moo, but he did get the general idea of what the fairy said. The cow, thus charged, set off on his journey to figure out how the heck an uneducated cow who had never left the field he grew up in before was to save the world.
To be continued…
The Princess and the Cow: IV
Once upon a time there was this cow. He was a very perplexed cow, because a beautiful cow fairy had charged him with saving the world. The cow set off. He looked to the right. He looked to left. He looked straight ahead. He saw nothing but trees, a small pond, some ducks and a dragon. The cow had never seen a dragon before, so thus he had no idea what they were. But the cow had some idea that they were bad news. This dragon happened to be eating a hamburger. Quite outraged at the abomination he saw before him the cow exclaimed, “MOO!”
This roughly translates too: “YOU MONSTER! DROP THAT HAMBURGER THIS INSTANT!!”
The dragon heard the cow, and not understanding him, thought “Oh, goody! Another hamburger!”
The cow, so outraged, lowered his horns and charged. Luckily the cow tripped, because had the cow finished his charge he would have been either blown up, or horribly devoured and then blown up. As it was the dragon stepped and an old mine from the Vietnam War and died. The cow decided he had fulfilled the beautiful cow fairy’s directive and went back to his field where he lived happily ever after.
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